2. Do not use euphemisms that you are not prepared to explain.
Adult to other adult in the presence of Orangeboy:
"Did you know that Joe's son has decided he likes... umm... rainbow flags? And he even put a rainbow sticker on his car?"
Orangeboy: "Rainbows? Why does he like rainbows? Who's Joe? Why would he put a rainbow sticker on his car? Aren't rainbows for girls?"
3. If you need to eat a quick meal before being somewhere else, don't feed Orangeboy anything he'll need to cut up or you'll be late for sure.
4. When at home, check on his whereabouts every few hours to make sure he doesn't spend the entire day in front of the computer.
5. Keep all fascinating and fragile mechanical or electronic devices out of sight.
6. Warn any new Bible teachers that he is prone to giving "inappropriate" answers to questions like, "Why do you love God?" and it is best not to ask him these types of questions in front of other impressionable children.
7. Do not give Orangeboy unlimited access to fruit.
8. If you really want him to believe something, show it to him in print - preferably with stats included.
9. Always give him the once over before leaving the house to make sure his shirt is not backward, his pants are not four inches too short, that his socks match, and his shoes are tied.
10. Help him apply sunscreen, even if he insists he has already applied it himself.